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A big man in Oceanside California I really appreciate your input. My partner and I really did introspect as to why I feel the need to do this (go outside the relationship). Although I don't believe that the reasoning behind having my partner as my substitute father figure applies to our situation (1. Because my partner and I are total equals, 2. I don't need a father figure when my dad is very active in my life, even in my partner's and my couplehood life, 3. We remain independent thinkers and judges of our own character, not of each other), I believe you have a point that I'm probably using my partner as a shield to the scathing dating world of men. Although me saying that I do depend on my partner negates what I've stated that we're both independent, but it's more interdependence that's running the relationship. But that's a deeper matter, really. I guess what I'm trying to understand is that why can't those married men come out of the closet and be themselves. But that's asking an out-of-this-world question, possibly a foreign concept for someone who's from a different generation. I think it's personally unfair that I demand (or at least prefer) someone who's an 'out' married when I don't understand how they must feel being stifled in their own world, as opposed to me having been out since I was practiy a kid. The reasoning probably is just something I have to live with, I guess.
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