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Overworked Attorney Needs a Break m4w Good looking, professional attorney in Springfield has been extremely overworked lately and is looking for a little stress relief. 5'lbs and in decent shape. If you are a woman in the Springfield area, please reply with a pic and I hope to hear from you soon!

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Taco You tried to sell me 12 Cinnabon , when I wanted and blamed it on trying not to look dumb. Were you flirting? I couldn't tell! me!

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Wanted: Best Friend Looking for a best friend to become my partner in (not literally ). Me: 40, very witty, extremely sarcastic, freaking hilarious. Not Pitt, but Im not Carrot Top either and not overweight. I might even take a bullet for you. Ok, lets be serious, I probably wouldnt take a bullet for you but it sounded good. But I might be willing to take a bullet from a gun that shoots nerf bullets. Thats loyal of me, right? Oh yeah, Im loyal too. If you have a dog I will put him (or her) to shame. Thats how loyal I am. I am so loyal I would consider helping you hide a body. We could put it under my house next to all the dead prostitutes. I think the last guy that lived in my house had a thing for prostitutes but I can neither conform or deny this (another joke). Not a complete douche either. Entirely possibly a small turd, but you get the idea. Im also very entertaining with my sense of humor (nothing is off limits). You will be saying to yourself, holy shit! This guy is very entertaining. Where has he been my whole life? I will literally almost you. With laughter. If I do you with laughter, well, I do have a spot under my house where I think youd fit in well (moar joke). Im really that funny. You will wake up everyday with your gut hurting from the day before. It sucks, but thats reality.
You: Be roughly close to my age. Also please be in somewhat decent shape. Not trying to sound shallow. Just being honest. No drama, liars or cheaters. I live a drama free life and as my new bestest friend you should as well. If someone is causing you a little drama, see above. Theres a spot under my house we could probably move said drama to. It would probably also be good if you didnt have a penis. Or on the waiting list for an operation to get one. Or previously had a penis (sorry, ). I will not Favre you a pic of my junk. Or anyone elses junk. Besides, why would I have a picture of someone elses junk? Thats just weird. Reply to inquire about being my new best friend. Its either that or I have to break out the chloroform and I dont want it to have to come to that (kidding). Serious inquiries only. Besides, who wouldnt want to be my best friend? You will be the envy of your friends addyston OH hot wife and neighbors. Your mother would approve (unless shes under my house). Put best friend in the subject line. Or dont. Just know theres limited space under my house.
(If you think I am serious about the goings on under my house, really? I mean, seriously??)

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Leaving town for a week, looking for a woman interested in webcam fun m4w Im heading out addyston OH hot wife of town for about a week and am looking for a woman interested in having some webcam fun. This can entail me just putting on a show for you, or more preferably, us both putting on a show for each other.
If you just want to watch, that is fine, but I will want verification you are a woman no offense, but there are a lot of dudes trolling the m4w(hell if I know why).
I get really turned on by this, so you can expect a really hard cock and a huge cumshot. I am more than willing to take a few commands. You want to see my cum on my chest? Just ask. Or across a picture of your tits? No problem!