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How To Win a Man's Heart In 20 Easy Steps Win a Man's Heart in 20 Easy Steps:
1. Be married or not, men don't really care.
2. Live with a yappy dog and bring it with you everywhere
3. Be in the WNBA. Men love a woman they can look up to.
4. Be sure that box is marked "Smokes occasionally" yeah, sure.
5. Go on about how great you are. Don't mention that you hate sex.
6. Have a blurry faraway pic from better days.
7. Tell him that you have an AA from a prominent college. As in drinking college.
8. Do NOT know the difference between wordplay and swordplay.
9. Say you want a LTR, not a FWB, cause you're not into S M or FFM, although you're a BBW.
10. State your age as "49". After all, all your friends at the home say you could pass for 49.
11. Tell him you're into Yoga and jogging. Also into his friend bear "Boo-boo" and other memory tricks.
12. Be sure to say you hate the sight of dicks, porn, nudity, or anything else those perverts might bring up.
13. Be unemployed and living off that fat alimony or home sale split your lawyer got from that last poor bastard.
14. Be religious. The more you mention God, the more that man will be happy to always be second in your life.
15. Tell him you love beach combing for oil slicks, can recycling and staring at the young surfers.
16. Say you are so ecological you only ride a bike. Then live far away.
17. Don't own a T.V.
18. Cry about the number of years you wasted with that asshole, and don't forget to make the number less that your listed age.
19. Wear plenty of make-up, perfume, and "padding" on that first date. Lures men right in.
20. Be 40 minutes late for your date. Just like pre-heating the oven.
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